The Wait

Two big WAITS have changed the course of my life. These waits have wet me in tears. The wait is the weight of my life. So please—don't say "wait." That word now gives me mild anxiety and a sudden urge to check my watch.

The first wait was when I liked a girl. She knew I loved her. I even sent her a chit—folded carefully, like a tiny paper airplane of hope. I waited for her reply. And she always told me to wait. I don't know why. Maybe she enjoyed watching me suffer. I waited with hopes and expectations for two years. And what did I get? She got married. Not to me. I WAITED FOR HER TO GET MARRIED. Quite funny, isn't it? Ha ha. Ow. This wait incident changed the course of my life—specifically, it taught me to never trust girls. Or chits. Or paper airplanes.

The second wait was when I missed an interview. My friend and I were walking to the interview. On the way, he stopped to smoke. Then again. And again. He puffed frequently, cutting down our time. Every time, I had to wait for him. We reached seven minutes late. Seven minutes changed seven generations of my beloved profession. The funny part? The friend was happy to reach late. He knew he wouldn't succeed in the interview anyway. Just surreal. This second wait too changed the course of my life—and my opinion of friends who smoke.

I soon made up my mind. Whenever I think of "wait," it kills me a little inside. So now I walk alone. I least bother about the decorum or the institutions of this life called living communities. I still walk alone. It is sad. A pitiful life, honestly. But at least no one asks me to wait while they light a cigarette.

However, the antimony of life—the strange contradiction—is another way round. And now, there are many things to wait for: waiting for my Bangalore exam result, waiting for houses to vacate, waiting for holidays to come. Wait… wait… things may come. But I wonder if they will turn out good or bad. Probably both. Probably at the same time.

Only yesterday, you (name withheld) said the same thing to me: "Wait." I have decided: all my waits will now become one big WAIT. I hope this third and last wait will be the one that finally arrives. I will wait. I will hope for the best. If not… well, I may have to wait my life here permanently. In which case, please send snacks.