The Long

(Readers' restriction: The humor below is only for the mature group as it contents some offensive terms, and the writing does not necessary propagates nor it’s propaganda or blames any language or so).



I was born in the society of ‘The’ and the ‘Long.’ Much as I am equipped with these phonetics, it’s still difficult to utter these sounds and at times I wonder why these two words having similar pronunciations have different meanings all over.

 ‘The’ and the ‘long’ words can contort faces and they can be the most reprehensive to a certain group of people in Bhutan especially Sharchokpas. Whenever I have to use these english words ‘The’ or the ‘Long,’ I use it with much care. A Peculiar American, ‘the’ accent is very close to our brother’s slang ‘the’ and we love distinct American articulation. Anyways, I just look around to throw out these English words -quickly. If it were rowdies, we would have a real long guff-talks-no matter the subject using these 'slangs'.

 I have some kind of uneasy neurotic hunches to use these two Bhutanese slangs with my students and most of all with my Sharchokpas students (But everyone knows these slangs, be it Ngalops or Lhotsampas or others in Bhutan). The worst part of this is that the hesitant words come out often unnoticed to the wrong people; but as an English-speaking class, I shouldn’t take any blame for it.

 In one of my classes, the students had got bored with series of classes, and they asked me my free time.

“We have a long class, sir. We want to enjoy long now.”
Were my students making fun of the word ‘long’ or was it just mockery to me as I use it often?
“To enjoy (the) long.” I flashed a small smile and continued, “Thus, we will have long break then.”
“Yes, thus, thus,” some naughty students weirdly twisted their mouth to pronounce the word thus as t(h)ues that made girls buried their heads for sometimes.

 No problem, I was forced out from the class after exchanging some quick laughter with boys - those mischievous boys.

 The ‘long’ and the ‘the’ are very derogative Sharchokpa’s terms for the male organ -penis, and as such ‘thus’ if mispronounced is a female organ.

I try to substitute the use of words ‘long’ with many others synonyms like lengthy, extensive, elongated, etc. However, for the small children in the school, the word ‘long’ has to be understood as long only and the ‘the’ likewise. These two words are also the most offensive words uttered when one is angry or in utter hopelessness.

And ‘the’ and ‘long’ are commonly used words in English.

And Take care and THE LONG Goodbye…and see you next time.