Thursday, April 12, 2012

The Pain of Missing

My loving place,
I would like to go
My mind is incline towards there always,
But here I am;
Under the control of life;
Control of human
What I have decided;
To face.
Thinking of my home
Stream of tears fall.

Once the lovely secrets I had,
Regret now, I had not told you.
And faithless acts I had done,
I regret
Forcing the times, I don’t think I would
Throttling the feelings of pains
Thinking of you
Tears drop relentlessly.

What is this for?
Samsaric is the world for me
Wherever I go
It’s sadness only
There is no ending to my sorrows.

Even if we come together
Because of fate we have,
We have to part
Growing through these sorrows
Life’s ending
I pray to god,
What's wrong with this?
Look after me.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Over Beautiful, Over Dirty

My classmate who had dropped the school after attending the sixth standard was in my car. Karpola was his name. He had his own dark flashback in his life. He was coming for the first time to Thimphu, the capital city of Bhutan. All his life, he was married to his village, Labar, Pema Gatshel. He had been sweating over to keep his dependents alive. Doing farming, carrying heavy loads, and living in the dark home as much for his dark face in contrast to his name Karpola, which means white, he was living a mundane dark life. The main reason for dropping his studies was financial problems. Over and above, he was living with his old stepfather, who was an alcoholic, and bet his mother over again and over again. He had to take over everything as the sole survival for his mother falls over him. But for me, I had studied and had a job now. We met after seven or so years. My parents’ house was on one lone hill and his over the lone hill. We were not overnight friends but infant friends. On having talked, he agreed to go for the break from what he said, ‘over cowly life’ in the village to Thimphu with me. Visiting Thimphu was his life’s dream and this could be his dream. He was bubbling over with excitement.

We traveled one of the longest journeys, and most of the time he slept inside the car being ill from dizziness. On the way, he over and again said, “You overdrive.” But I overruled him, 50-60 kms/hr was overall an average speed. On nearing Thimphu’s city, we washed our faces fresh and I asked him to be watchful of his dreamland. To had a better view of Thimphu, I drove him from the Semtokha road. He opened his mouth, his tongue was stuck out as he ran his eyes over every corner of valleys, down the big lane; hundreds of cars pass by, hundreds of crowded buildings. He pushed out, “Oh, over cars, more than cows in my village.” i laughed. We just then cross Lungtenphug and saw the whole face of Thimphu. He looked at the city with his poking eyes; he craned his neck through the car’s window. He looked arrestingly overwhelmed. “This is over beautiful.” He noised in the air. “You have misused preposition, we say, the most beautiful.” I laughed and corrected him. “Anyway, this is over beautiful,” he muttered. “We can see this place very beautiful from the outside, let us check inside,” I fawned over. I liked to lord it over my friend. We entered the town; we pulled over to the side and parked the car at the side of the road. Now the man from the uptown world was roaming the downtown world. We reached over the farmer’s market, I tried to paper over the cracks, but he had a habit of drooling over every nook and corner of the market and that was where he got petrify, somewhat allergic to his dream. He had clouded over his face. The shift of scene had cast a shadow over him. “This is over dirty. Beautiful buildings, clean people, clean cars but over dirty drains, over smelly, over wrappers, over papers whatnot all over the places.” He did me over as if I had handover this. I once again corrected with some sense of responsibility and shame of the place I was fussing over, “You can say dirty...”
My far cousin lived in Changjiji. We slept over for some days while I had my spinning administrative works in the Education Ministry. Karpola seeing all kinds of people in the place felt happy to mix in the mixture. I wanted him to experience a city’s life. One night, we went over with a bang to be a part of a discotheque. We saw gangs of youth drunk, hauling over the coals, and soon breaking out into a fight. “This is over dangerous,” he cried. I lost my words. My intention was to show him another side of life; comfort, beautiful, and internally peaceful co-existence but it turned all over. Karpola habituated use of ‘over’ put me in thinking.
The other night, I lied down on my bed and mulled over the word ‘over.’ I doubled over with a hearty laugh thinking over it. But this wasn’t a laughing matter. Was it? I came up with so many reasons for the word ‘over.’ One could look externally very beautiful but dirty interior. The word between ‘over’ and ‘normal’ was like having two faces of a person. Everything overly over is bad. Over and over trying makes success.
After a week’s stay, he decided to go to his home because he had a sort of hangover for his village. “My village is over normal.” He seemed to be head over heels in love with his countryside. I drew a veil over the subject. Karpola’s eyes glazed over as if he was over and done with Thimphu’s vigor. He got over with his dream, a rather betray dream and he went to his village. I didn’t think he would be happy to spill over the news of his visit to his village mates. I reached him to the bus station while I had to return the next morning to Gedu.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Everything



An enrapture piece of mind
Surrounded by happiness today
My mind
So much transported and euphoric
Entirely contented

In this heaven like earth
My angel here;
In front of me today
I wish every day
To be

My birth here was happy
And luckier
To meet you
No wealth is desirable than you
The wealth of having you
Is the wealth I treasure?
No wealth can substitute you

My faithful lover
You will take through the life
Ups and down
And I thank you
and never forget
for fulfilling my dream

My only wish
is to keep you happy
the above god and goddess
wish us
with mindfulness of happiness
and feelings of consideration
to my heaven sent lover
Wish with no ills and troubles
Because I care you more than any wealth in the world.



Note: This poem is the very rough adaptation of Bardo’s song.


Saturday, April 7, 2012

Lama Rinpochea

Dungse Thinley Norbu Rinpoche (1931-2011) was an influential modern Buddhist teacher in the lineage of Tibetan Buddhism, and patron of the Vajrayana Foundation. He was the eldest son of Dudjom Rinpoche, the former head of the Nyingma lineages, and also the father of Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse Rinpoche and Garab Rinpoche, known for his Theorma Tshogpa. He wrote many books on Buddhism including ‘White Sail: Crossing the Waves of Ocean Mind to the Serene Continent of the Triple Gems.’ Dungse passed away in America and his Kudhung(body) was brought to Bhutan. His Kudhung was kept for the wellbeing of Bhutanese people for a month. I was there in Paro( Lango) when his Kudhung was put on fire. Thousands of devotees gathered, it was said there were more than 20-30 thousand people. Some as early as 2am in the morning came to occupy the place as near as possible. Those who came late have to parch on the caves and rugged terrain. Buddhists believes, Rinpoche was the incarnation of Guru Rinpoche. Below are the photos were taken on Mechay’s day.

In the darkness, shines through Rinpoche's Kudung

Sanctuary in the sanctum



Have a close look, who is he? Politics in religion
Ah…oh wondering minstrel
Taking kudung in a Bhutanese procession
Swapping body into smoke, an evanescent of life. Many people cried at this time. It was an emotionally poignant moment.
People rising up to inhale the smoke and to show veneration
This is how rich people misuse the space-the good space while people have to parch on the rocks and in the trees.
Smoky to be on fire
Many Neljorpas tents camped around the place
On the way back home the famous Paro Dzong stands rain or shines for hundreds of years. My son’s son would be fortunate enough to see the same Dzong. I said this to my son and he unhappily said to me that I will turn into smoke and disappear. My heart broke apart for sometimes to tear away especially from my beloved people and the earth. But who am I? The great Rinpoche has the same fate.
Forget the dying for now. Live now or never, I told my family. So, we mingle in the tingling town in Paro town for some time. It really is a tingling town, the prices of the things made our head tingle. Those non-eating chilies Chilips tourists have inflated by buying of no use things.
The next day, we went to Phuntsholing to have gracing and blessing from Lam Chime. Lam Chime resides in Sikkim and is the main leader of Theorma Tshogpa in Bhutan. Lam is living for his devotees at this die-able age with his wife. Not all photos were clear and I think it was the cognizant nature of Lama to blur his image for an errant person like me!
And the wheel of the life rolls on and on...and kick the bucket unknown known, unlike Lama rinpoche.