Sunday, December 30, 2012

Old Out, New In: New Year Resolutions

From google

Will 2013 Be A Snaky Year?

 
Every New Year, people tend to make some New Year resolutions, which may not be followed always. Yesterday evening, I was thinking… what could be some of my New Year resolutions, despite a lot of ponderings, I couldn’t get as concrete as such. There are many but the moment I think about the year 2013, the year of female snake, I almost forget my resolutions. The snake is one of the most dreadful animals I have ever seen. I simply dislike the sound of it. I cannot imagine myself reborn as a snake, if so, I would faint, and die looking at my body.

I kind of jumper, I look at a nice flat rock to land smoothly, and everyone is in fact. I cannot stick to New Year resolutions. Sometimes promises and pledges fail miserably and utterly. Anyways, it is good to take as a kind of frontage or reminder for the year. Below are some of my resolutions:

1)      I will try to be honest and be a kind of well-bred brat like before. No, honestly, I have all these good words in my mind this year; polite, respect, modest, courteous, refine, decent, cordial, affable, etc. I hope to implement some of these in my ways of life in a better approach. I will try this year not to tell a single lie to anyone. The previous year was mixture of a little bit of liars because of the situations. I will try to be truth to myself, no matter when the world falls apart. But I don’t know where this snake year will drag me. May it not be a snaky year? I pray.

2)      I will try to be understanding person. If you fail or if I fail, I will understand it, not a big deal. The greater part of life is made because of understanding each other. Understanding doesn’t mean enlightenment or sorts here. It is the way to think about others’ problems, situations, etc, and acting on it. I pledge to my family that I will become more generous and considerate this year( if they pledge to do so to me) and my children, I will understand, even if you pass the shit on my forehead, I will understand. And hope they wouldn’t mind too if I do the same.

3)      I will try to forget this contentious concept of every action has its own reaction. This has brought me so many sicknesses to me and others at the same time. Tit for tat, going against, becoming unruly etc have to be minimized this year. I will mind my own business (eat my own share, not others). More patience is what I will become, but truly I am impatience of this snake year. I think something will happen to me; is it good, or bad. Something. I pray.

4)      I will try to cultivate more loves to my family, parents, children and others. What makes the world to moves around; is it a gravitational force or is it money? Certainly, they are not, as far as my understanding of life recently. It is the love that makes the world to move around. And the hatred stops the world completely. I will resole the wheels of life with better outlooks. I will shake my gun hard, so that everyone can hear the messages of love. So, goodness is in the air, but I fear if love is only one sided. One sided love is always madness and I wonder I may not become mad this year-with love.

5)      I will hook near the warm fireside like a cat in the home. Enough is enough-this is what protest banner reads in one of the demonstrations in India about the raped girl.  The girl was terribly raped in Delhi, inserted iron rod and thrown naked on the road by those evil bus passengers/goondas. And a few days a ago, two Bhutanese women were molested by the bus conductor and the driver in Bangalore. A very sad news, and it's not a safe place to be in India.This is not a good thing to talk in this New Year. It’s time to enjoy, but I am terribly affected by this brutal incident; it was a very bad ending of the year 2012. And if ever, I will fight to the last fight with those goondas, well, good all people have come out to demonstrate for this. For now, I feel, home is a secure place. I’m scared my two little eggs like balls would also get smashed by those evils minded people for no reason. So enough of travelling and being away from home. Home is where heart is. Oh my dear, hope you won’t mind and wouldn’t get bore for I will be in hibernation for a long time. 

6)      And the last but not the least, the big resolution is….let me leave this (This detesting snake may never let me fulfill whatever I have in my mind) I am afraid this big dream will bury my whole life. It’s the life's task, not a day, a week, a month, a year; it’s the lifetime achievement—and the life time achievement of writing nonsense goes to Mr. New Year. I say, New Year is no new year. It’s old. For every New Year, my age become older and older. The antitheses of old is new, and old was once new, and the new will become old. Moment comes and goes. Moment is always in a movement. Xmas has just become ex now. The year comes and goes; 2012, 2013, 2014…etc but one’s life cannot go and come. It goes forever. I don’t know where? But our bodies become worthless as ash. Sad indeed.
For now, happy indeed to celebrate the New Year. So have a profuse year ahead.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Derrida and I


Jacques Derrida, I like this man. He says something like this: there is nothing meaningful as such. There is no logos, no centre, no origin, no presence, no absence, no beginning, no end…etc.  Things exist in buoyant. The word ‘love’ is not a love. It doesn’t signify anything. It can mean hate, kill, dark, murder, etc. And the word ‘hate’ would mean love, just like Gandhiji treated hate as love. There is no meaning as such. Everyone can deconstruct it. Freeplay is what I like. This inquisitive Derrida says, “The center is not the center.” Then, where is the center? It is beyond, what he termed as “transcendental signified.” Who knows, if nothing lies beyond the hills. But there lies. This seemingly crazy French man was asked this question in one of his philosophical discourses, “Where does the authority lie?” and the answer he gave was a toddler’s answer, “The authority always lies.” Every talking baby could have answered it in that way. It’s like asking to him, “Where do the baggy testicles lie?” and you wouldn’t surprise yourself to get an answer, “It always lies there.” Not on your head, not on your cheeks, and you wouldn’t like it if it lies there somewhere. So it always lies there. Warm and fit.

But Derrida metaphysical philosophy of absence and presence is not his philosophy. And funnily he accepts it himself. It is there and it is not there. Everything is nothing. Nothing is everything. I bluntly argue Derrida and say that he has taken it from my father. My father’s philosophy of no logos, no eminent presence is the same. The concept of no meaning, transcendental, etc was there already. My father’s religious canons taught me, and my father got it from his father, my grandfather, and my grandfather got it from my great grandparents, and so it moves back to the time immemorial, and no fella knows it exactly. If one has to know, then one has to get back to the origin of the world. There is no question of going backward now, when we are living forward. I would pass the same information of ‘the center is not the center,’ without understanding much to my son and he would do too to his son.

I like Derrida’s freeplay, and I like freeplaying with words. Last time, I played with a girl after I read Derrida’s "Structure, Sign and Play in the Discourse of the Human Sciences." “Big Boobs,” is what I said when she was crouching under the chair. She freeplayed the meaning and she didn’t talk with me for two days for just these two words. That almost killed me. Women always do chemical analysis on what they hear. If you say, beautiful to them, they would think about ugly. If you say my god, they would think they are goat. They are stupidly sensitive. They are the real Derridas. That is why; I talk very less with women. They would misunderstand and disrupt my every golden droplet of word and treat as an ironical word.  

Derrida deconstructions lead me into many problems. A few days ago, I told auto driver that right is left and left is right. “So where shall we go, to the center,” the driver said. “No, there is no center. There is no right, no left man,” I joked with him. The auto driver curiously said, “Are you kind of in sense?”  “No, I’m saying, if there is no right, there is no left.”  That auto driver was blunt headed; he shook his head quite puzzled. “Even I am puzzled,” I said to him at last. “Let’s live simple; let’s say there is right, there is left, why break your head without any meaning,” the good driver said. “If you find the meaning, there is no meaning in it,” I said. The good driver laughed and said, “What is that again? I think you need some medications very soon.” Hearing his remarks, I sort of chilled feelings ran inside my heart; I lowered my head and ran towards my room cursing Derrida. I was kind of aporia, unable to decide whether I was really mad or sane. I realized after two days of thinking that there was no reality in everything, it was just construction. That auto driver wouldn’t, in anyway say, whether I was sane or insane. Because of the freeplay of meaning I taught him on our brief encounter.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

What Is This Life With(out) Wife?



This is my slogan: Don’t beat your gf ‘hard’ please.

 “You are the ugliest creature I have ever seen,” she shouted.
“You look like the ugliest witch I have ever seen,” he shouted.
“Go, I don’t want to see your face,” she shouted again.
“Die you, I got fed up with your face,” he shouted.
And blah…blah…s
These are some words of husband and wife’s quarrelling

Wait…just wait for a night. The next morning, everything turns out opposite:

 “You are the best creature I have ever seen,” she hummed.
“You look like a princesses to me,” he hummed.
“Stay, I want to see your face everyday,” she hummed again.
“Live with me, I wish to see your face,” he hummed.
And hum…hum…s

When you are young, you fight tough; both physically and verbally. But when you travel further and further, your quarrel also moves farther (I have not experienced that further or farther or both, but I have seen many in my walk). You turn back your life with your wife, and get a kind of hunchback. There is something right in what you have done. I mean hard fighting.

But now, there is no hatred, and there is no love either. It becomes a kind of overused battery; you have to put that battery in the hot sun for a while, if you want to use it for a while. There is little or no energy to pull the loose trigger of the gun also. Old wine is what you become. And then…there is life, more than what your wife and you had; children. They are very deep photocopies of father and mother. The parents become madder than they ever were before. It’s the time to sit at the corner, pull rosaries, and listen to bad remarks from those bad children.

Let me leave with a light note, my old guns. A man was saying to his new girlfriend, "Am I the first man you have ever loved?"
"Of course," she answered,"Why do men always ask the same question?"
So you are not the only victims of women, women too are victims of men. Everyone knows some men like extra-things to shine their guns.