Tuesday, January 29, 2013

A Car Named Desire



Are you a mobile freak?  Do you change your mobile frequently?  How many mobiles do you have? Are some questions many people are asking these days.

Nobody would deny that this is an electronic age. We are living here. There are a lot of new things which have made our life so simple and easy going. Mobile phone is one of them which can be seen as the most used present day phenomenon in this fast growing time. Mobile phone is a revolutionary step in the field of tele-communication.

Now there are many branded mobiles for people. There are different varieties of Nokia, you have Samsung, 
you have blackberry, and you have iphone - iphone five-the latest.

Last time, my friend bought iphone4, which was quite expensive but utterly useless to me, though it has so many facilities. I am not a kind of mobile freak. I don’t really like mobiles. We must remember this: Using cell phones too much is harmful for human's health and can increase the risk of brain cancer. There were many times, I didn’t even carry mobile for months. Simple Nokia is enough for me. I can call with it anywhere around the world like apple phones with my Nokia. I have my laptop to use all facilities like mobile. Why need two when one is all that enough. Human desire is unlimited. The quick drop of iphone on the ground burns a year’s foodings. Likewise, I never liked gold, silver or whatever. Women love gold and jewelries. Human desire will go on if one never learns to cease. I never understand what the rationale behind people wearing gold is. There is no rationale as such for liking something and there is no reason to love; we simply love and like. I like cars; a very elegant and rich looking cars. The car I bought in 2008, Hyundai Getz GVS was one of the nicest cars in that period but now it’s obsolete.

I love cars, but my Getz has bombarded; it has become quite expensive both in terms of fuel and maintenance. It’s now six years and I think I have fed him gallows of fuel. I was trying to sell him but it was difficult with new and cheap cars coming in. I like to buy a good BMW or Mercedes Ben, and for this I think my family would have to have a piece of rice every meal. I wouldn’t do such thing for personal desire, for personal happiness, for personal gains etc. Now a thing is not only a thing. There are other things which mean a lot. One cannot deny the change in life with the change of time but when this change is over-exposed I think it’s pollution. I realize now that we must balance these two phenomena in order to create a healthy world.

My Getz GVS

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Hatred


Turning things over in my mind

And as I do more

I start to feel worse

The rustling sounds bring tears

Stirring my terrible dreams

How can I turn away from the darkness of rough times?

My thought always ends up back at you

As your presence lurks everywhere around me

I simply hate today

Time to Wag Tails Politicians


Now the 2nd term election is about a few months, people must have in their minds some qualifications of a right person. That’s good.  Bhutan was in the middle of enigma in 2008. There were instances of choosing wrong person. Or, was it because of the less choice?

I write this because I am reminded of a bad example of how our government can be irresponsible in choosing the right ministers for the Ministry. I am lifting an old example from The Journalist newspaper (13/6/10, on page 5), that I have noted the exact lines in one of my books, the confession made by Health Minister, Zanglay Drukpa.  He said to the paper that, “I came with an open mind since I knew nothing about health.” I laughed at his frankness but at the same time felt ashamed.  From thereon, I knew there was something artificial in the function of our system. There are many ‘hotch-potch Dashos’ like him. It is like right person for the wrong job. There are scores of other in the present batch of the elected members who have joined the politics for the love of power and money. Some of them turned out to be worse than statues, stealthily, filling up their stomach. Some came out to be surviving with lip services and faked promises.

Bhutan didn’t know much of these would happen in the 1st election. Now people know; there are talks in every small gathering and sorts like that about choosing a leader of good heart, responsible, capable, understanding, etc. Politicization is important therefore. People must by now also know that the individual mustn’t decide the candidate, but, rather it is the responsibility of people coming together and deciding on their representative. Democracy is sometimes described as communities of people coming together, and it imagines many voices pouring into a unified whole. Democracy should permeate the world beyond politics, making itself felt in the ways people think, speak, work, fight, and even make forte.  No nepotism, no relations, no bribery, nothing, but selecting through collective decision would have a good leader. Because it’s for the greater goodness and well being of the whole, not an individual.

Coming back to the right person, right job; the subject matter is very important; every job demands specialization in specific subject. One cannot be a jack of all trades. An untrained person suddenly cannot declare as a carpenter. An educationist cannot become a doctor.  An accountant takes his/her profession because his/her profession is professional. But when it comes to society like ours, everyone wags tail in-front of money( and barks back nonsensically to own people) and the post, not necessarily thinking about their area and the outcome, which as a result becomes our government buoyant and susceptible, where everyone makes the bulb with no knowledge of it to light but nobody succeed.  Because of this we had so many problems in Health Ministry, I think. This type of malfunction which pulls our nation shouldn’t be repeated as the society depends upon them. And in turn they depend on the society.


Wednesday, January 23, 2013

The Moon on My Bed



Silently, silently in the night
What am I doing?
Let down
Lying on my bed
I can see only moon
Through my pan
You are far
It warms me
But the moon has slowly moved behind the clouds
Leaving me alone, alone
Ascending darkness upon me
How can be the night?
No night, no night
No evening, no evening
It comes every time…
I am dying
Thinking of visions
The visions of you
on my bed
Show me the moon.

I can’t wake up in the morning
For the whole night I can’t sleep
And days have become my nights
What can be good?
What happened to me?
I have changed
Because of the lack of love
That you show to me.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Why Are You Reminded After a Long Time?



People say take stuff as it comes on the way; time is the only reason. I know this now! Sitting near the laptop, I feel like some flickering parts of my life has shattered and darkness has ascended. A swamp of memories rushes in upon me of long-struggles; my afflictions, my wasted life and my moments of loneliness. Now, I feel very hurt but I keep back those bad memories and thoughts to myself. A shameful consciousness of my own person harasses me. I see myself as clownish, the pitiable guy in a glimpse in the reflection. But I have learnt to shake off myself free of it and continue to caress my life. And I question now, why I had been so different and hesitant?
               
It was an awful empty days. The days were the longest and saddest of my life. It wasn’t until she ditched me like a duster.

She was so incredibly stunning. Central of  bait to many people like me, who had fallen and were victim of love. I played a little role in her life. She fooled me staying around all my life. I begun to sink further into the bleak of silent love, the more I watched, the more I despised my weakness. She tormented my thinking; never let me into good slept, visions and images filled all around me.

There were many students I could name them, who looked physically fine looking to my eyes, but her history told me that she had never accepted any one of them. She was viewed as an extravagant girl.

What happened when one love someone? It was a kind of an ambivalent feelings; I both hated and loved her, what was more? She was charming and gracious to boot. Love was nothing to do with the wealth and the fame or the beauty. It would simply happen. Loving her would love everything, if only I had her!

I wonder how these beautiful ladies react when they get too many attention and loving sweet smiles. How do they take in and feel with it. I guess, they would be high-flying in the buoyancy. I know, some ladies simply stab it in the heart with sweet poisoned knife, shattered green hearts, speak out the cruelest words, break hearts into pieces, and move away safely. And guys dissolve into unpredicted works; drinking, drugs, quarrellings, going mad, attempting suicide and more unsay- able acts.

These were some of my reasons that made me petrified and regretful.

In the college, I would wait, however, timing the moment when I could pass her on the stairs and gulp, “Good morning.” And she would answer cheerfully, “Good morning.”
And that was all that ever passed between us.

Women are like empty pots, waiting for the fillers. They need three sweetening rubbish reasons to fill them and make feel wanted and happy.

Watching her everywhere, anyplace, anywhere, she would laugh with her friends, roam with many boyfriends. Her heaven walked the space she occupied. But she, yes she, the girl whom I loved so much was ignorant of my presence. “Does she know if someone loved her?” I often asked that. The refusal was the most horrible drugs. In my thoughts, I would have done everything with her. Je ne sais quoi was she!

My tortured soul told me, “Hold her in now in arms and never let go.” But it wasn’t worth it. She must have a choice of her own, too. I was shilly-shallied.

“Will she makes a choice a man who he loves very much?” I wondered. At all cost I was away from her until and unless she wanted to see me. If not, I would only suffer.




Two years later, she came to meet me. I saw her again, looking sadden and worried.  I opened my mouth wide when she greeted me lovingly. I busted into a sly smile. My mind said, “How many years again she must make me suffer? Anyway, all loves never lead to married life. True love last forever- as long as you find another true love.”

The karma might have, it did not apply to me at that moment. When she put her hand on my shoulder and closed her eyes and asked, “Are you married?”
I couldn’t answer her. Although, my heart was brimming over with happiness. Just when I was wishing for it so much, she had come to me of her own accord.
It was the best and the worst thing happening in my life.
“Why?” I asked.
“He is dead!”
“Somebody you were in love with?” I asked her dryly.
A dull anger begun to gather at the back of my mind.
“Yes, a year back when he came to meet me, his car went off the road. I think he died because of me.”
Choking with sobbed and overcome by emotions she dropped down onto my knees.
Raged and thunderstorm raced in my blood.
“Do you think I’m a fool-spoiled brat? Do you think I’m your second man-to come and drive whenever you like?” I said into the voidness. She didn’t hear.

So she had had that romance in her life; wealthy man died for her sake. It pained to consider how poor a part I had played in her life. NO, not supposedly, it is the biggest role I played in her life.

The lady i had longed for so many years had vanished in just a second. On other hand, her girlish beauty had almost gone. But my past feeling towards her cooled the thunderstorm raging inside slowly. One by one, they all became shades, and then faded like the dying embers of fire. Soon generous tears filled my eyes. “Did she know what I was going through all those longed years?”

I was modestly taken by love. It poisoned me to ask her happily, “Sorry, what can I do for you”.
“I knew that for so many years that you wish to live with me,” she said in a remote tone. “I am sorry I ignored you. But why didn’t you tell me the day you loved me?”
The last sentence seemed hurting. “Only I was diffident and could not approach her lead to a story and wasted life. I regretted.” It rang in my mind.
“Yes now, I shouldn’t refuse you, I need you. I should not blame you for it was the only love, Choden.”I told her.

Trembled; with a mixture air of delight and sadness I stood close to her. She put her hands on my shoulder and at her sudden hug; I had fallen to her so easily.


But the story I never asked my wife now is about that wealthy lover who died for her sake. How long will it continue like this? In fact to our very last breathe. Because if you dig the decayed stool, it smells a lot.




Note: This story is a seemingly reflection of one of my friends and my own in some parts.